"How can I go to sleep knowing that my husband is lying with another woman just next door? Just knowing that one's husband has another woman makes one crazy enough without having to see her every day."
Remarked a former Polygamous wife interviewed in prison while serving a life sentence for killing her husband!
(L. Tibatemwa-Ekirikubinza, “Multiple partnering, gender relations and violence by women in Uganda” (1998) 4 East African Journal of Peace and Human Rights 15 at 40.)
(L. Tibatemwa-Ekirikubinza, “Multiple partnering, gender relations and violence by women in Uganda” (1998) 4 East African Journal of Peace and Human Rights 15 at 40.)
When practised patrilocally, Polygamy violates the right to familial privacy and undermines women's security and relational interests by compounding the inherent difficulties and mental agony of sharing one's husband.
Polygamy has been the heat of contention along with triple talaq in India. Qur'an's Surah 4 titled 'an Nissa' is on Women.
Muslims who practice polygamy often quote Ayat 3 from Surah 4 to justify it which reads as follows:
"And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans, then marry from among [other] women such as are lawful to you - [even] two, or three, or four: but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then [only] one - or [from among] those whom you rightfully posses. This will make it more likely that you will not deviate from the right course." (Surah an Nisaa - Women, 4:3).
हिन्दी अनुवाद: और यदि तुमको भय हो कि तुम यतीमों के संबंध में न्याय न कर सकोगे तो औरतों में से जो तुमको पसंद हो उनमें से दो, तीन या चार तक निकाह कर लो और यदि तुमको डर हो कि तुम न्याय न कर सकोगे तो एक ही निकाह करो या जो दासी तुम्हारे स्वामित्व में हो। इसमें आशा है कि तुम न्याय से विचलित न होगे। (सूरह अन निसा 4:3)
Plain reading of this verse suggests that it is in context of war-torn society in seventh-century Arabia, the battle of Uhud left many women widowed and children orphaned, the discussion of polygamy was revealed as part of a directive to treat female orphans justly. Nikah was considered as a protection for the women, even if it's Polygamous. Polygamy was promoted by Prophet as an act of Charity. It was not to allow Muslim men to fulfill their sexual desires. It was to serve a functional purpose for that time period, in allowing widows and to be taken care of in a society in which women usually did not have independent means of financial support.
Now women have more choices allowing them to be financially independent, even in cases where they are widowed or orphaned. The text is clear that polygamy is only permissible if all wives are treated justly then it goes on to say that it will never be possible for a husband to treat all of his wives fairly. (Surah An Nisaa 4:129) This effectively limits the possibility of polygamy.
The Prophet Muhammad said:
“Whosoever has two wives and he inclines towards one to the exclusion of the other, he will come on the Day of Judgment with his body dropping or bending down.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2/242; al-Tirmidhi, 3/447; al-Nasaa’i, 7/64; Ibn Maajah, 1/633. classed as saheeh by Ibn Hajar in Buloogh al-Maraam, 3/310 and by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/80).
It is not possible to balance all the duties required in a polygamous situation which leads us to believe that polygamy was never meant to be practised and is only done so by men exploiting Quranic teachings.
Some interpret the Qu'ran as granting an exception for polygyny, but holding monogamy as the ideal. This was precisely what motivated Tunisian nationalist leader Habib Bourguiba to prohibit polygamy. Reasoning that the Qu'ranic requirement of equal treatment of wives was impossible, Bourguiba argued that polygyny was dependent on particular conditions at the time of the revelation of the Qu'ran, and thus like slavery, should be prohibited.
The U.N. Commission on the Status of Women, which first met in 1947, agreed to work for:
"freedom of choice, dignity of the wife, monogamy, and equal rights to dissolution of marriage."
The Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) has stated that polygyny violates women's right to equality within marriage.
In its General Recommendation no. 21 on Equality in Marriage and Family Relations, the Committee stated that:
"Polygamous marriage contravenes a woman's right to equality with men, and can have such serious emotional and financial consequences for her and her dependents that such marriages ought to be discouraged and prohibited. The Committee notes with concern that some States parties, whose constitutions guarantee equal rights, permit polygamous marriage in accordance with personal or customary law. This violates the constitutional rights of women, and breaches the provisions of article 5(a) of the Convention. "
In Vishakha and Others, the Indian Supreme Court cited CEDAW General Recommendations and stressed that India had ratified the Women's Convention and that the Government had made an official commitment at the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing “to formulate and operationalize a national policy on women which will continuously guide and inform action at every level and in every sector.”
CEDAW also suggested that states should require the registration of all marriages, whether conducted civilly or according to customary law, in order to:
Ensure compliance with the Convention and establish equality between partners, a minimum age for marriage, prohibition of bigamy and polygamy and the protection of the rights of children.
On one hand, allowing men to have as many as four wives, to satisfy their sexual vigour, and on the other hand, punishing women for committing Adulterous or bigamous act, is sheer hypocrisy and constitutes cruelty against her, which is against the principles of Natural Justice, Article 14 of The Indian Constitution and Article one of Universal Declaration of Human Rights of which India is a signatory country.
The preamble of the Women's Convention expresses a conviction that:
"A change in the traditional role of men as well as the role of women in society and in the family is needed to achieve full equality between men and women."
Beyond the harms to women associated with Polygamy, studies indicate that adolescents from Polygamous families have lower levels of socio-economic status, academic achievement, and self-esteem, as well as higher levels of reported family dysfunction than children from monogamous families. ( A study by Varghese Cherian, the academic achievement of children in Transkei was measured in relation to their parents' marital status:monogamous or polygynous).
The researchers explained this difference by noting that polygynous families are more prone to jealousy, conflict, tension, emotional stress, opposing motives, insecurity, and anxiety. This type of emotional stress, anxiety, insecurity and jealousy between wives can seriously cause significant emotional problems for children and undermine their educational progress.
Where Polygamy exists, it often stereotypes women into reproductive and service roles. As a result of such inherent structural inequality, women can never be truly equal in polygynous unions.
Compelling reason for men to not to practice polygamy, is the imperative to do justice, which prohibits having multiple wives, since, as human beings, men cannot ever be perfectly fair and just among them.
Prophet Muhammad never endorsed Polygamy as a license to satisfy men's lust. Why not follow his Sunnah (Deeds)?
To come to terms with ill effects of Polygamy and violation of Women's Human Rights even in 21st century, like slavery, it should be banned Universally. It has no relevance in today's world.
PS: Surah means Chapters in Quran and Ayat means Verses. There are total 114 chapters and Approx 6,666 verses in Quran.
